Not Knowing
by StarTraveler
Summary: Another fic inspired after watching the premiere online, Rachel had to go into hiding to be kept safe from enemies, For Rachel and Tom not knowing when they can be together again is the worst.


Disclaimer: The Last Ship belongs to TNT.

AN: Second fic idea that came from my conversation with Cathycath, since there wasn't footage of a body or funeral what if Rachel is actually alive.

***  
Tom put the letter Rachel had given him on the stand next to his bed, he was about to start getting undressed when he heard a loud bang.

Out of reflex, he grabbed his gun and got in a defensive stance, but no one was in the room with him.

He carefully opened his door and peered into the hallway, no one was there and nothing seemed amiss.

But the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up; years in the Navy had taught him what gunshots sounded like.

He slowly went down the hall and turned past the corner and then he saw someone laying on the floor, but definitely not sleeping.

He recognized the dress and he felt his heart go cold.

"Rachel!" Tom rushed to her side and gently rolled her onto her back.

He saw a massive amount of blood and a bullet hole just above the chest area.

She needed help and fast.

He quickly took off his jacket to keep pressure on her wound; he looked up to see more of his officers coming.

"Get Rios! Somebody call paramedics!" Tom began frantically barking orders.

He was only vaguely aware of the activity going on around him, his attention was on Rachel.

She was getting pale, "Come on, Rachel, please stay with me. You've come this far with me, I can't lose you now."

Her eyes fluttered open, first with confusion, and then recognition.

"Tom?"

"Don't talk, you've been attacked."

"There was a man..."

"Just rest, save your strength."

Doctor Rios arrived just then with paramedics in tow, Tom moved aside but stayed as close as he could.

***  
Everything after was a blur, the ambulance ride to the hospital and Rachel being taken into the operation room.

Tom sat in the waiting room with other crew members, the night which had started as a celebration had now turned into waiting to find out if one of their own would survive.

Michener arrived to tell them the shooter had been caught, he hadn't even tried to hide the gun as he was running, and a member of security had detained him.

He of course had proudly admitted to being an immune, with the creator of the cure gone, it would get harder to recreate and the non-immunes would still die out.

Tom shook with rage; the only thing that kept him from going to the jail to strangle the bastard was the surgeon coming out with news on Rachel.

"Thankfully the shooter has a bad aim; he got her above the heart, missing major arteries. We've managed to repair the damage, and give her blood transfusions."

The doctor smiled at all of them, "She's going to make a full recovery."

Tom let out a cry of relief and sank to a chair as his knees buckled, "Can I see her?"

"Not tonight, she's heavily sedated and needs rest, hopefully in a day or two."

***  
Tom was disappointed, but he nodded his acceptance. Mike and Michener took him back to the hotel.

Tom locked his room door, undressed, and fell onto his bed, even though he felt drained, sleep just wouldn't come.

After he sat up, he saw the letter Rachel had given him, it now felt like so long ago.

He opened it and read it, Tom felt his eyes filled with tears as she revealed her father had been a traveling minister, how he'd let her mother die instead of allowing medicine to treat her, Rachel's estrangement from him.

Then he read about what she'd went through with Neil's and how he, Tom Chandler had put her in that situation.

After he was finished, Tom felt the tears come and did nothing to stop them.

"I'm sorry, Rachel, I promise to be a better man." There was no one to hear that promise but he would keep it.

***  
Two days later he was finally allowed to see Rachel and he went in slowly, not wanting to startle her, and after the way he had treated her for so long, not sure how he'd be received.

Rachel was awake and watched him come in, she smiled, but it was a tired and small smile, the kind you gave to someone you knew, but to be polite to.

He missed the wide smiles she used to give him, he had made her wary of him, but the shooter had left a mark of his own.

"I'm glad you found me in time." She whispered.

"So am I." Tom told her sincerely. "I was so afraid we'd lose you. I'm sorry I failed you so much Rachel."

She appeared ready to speak but Tom stopped her.

"I should've walked you back to your room, instead I was only thinking about myself, about getting a good night's sleep."

He started to pace, "I failed you on the ship, Jeter is right, I allowed the sub and the immunes to become my white whale. I used you to take my anger out on; I forgot everything you had done."

He stopped pacing and carefully sat on her bed, "I read your letter, I'm sorry I forced you near Sorensen, I helped push you into a dark abyss and over the edge."

He gently took her hand and looked into her eyes, full of surprise and no doubt wondering if he'd lost it.

"Rachel, can you ever forgive me?"

"I understand why you did some of the things you did, I'll work on completely forgiving you under one condition."

"Anything." Tom replied without hesitation.

"You work on forgiving yourself and never allow yourself to slip back into darkness."

"I promise." He solemnly replied.

****  
At the end of the month she was released from the hospital, and ordered to take it easy.

While they were walking around a stream, Rachel threw up her hands in frustration.

"Michener won't let me near the lab; I'm not allowed to help with anything until completely healed."

Tom gently took her hand, "I know hard work is ingrained into your DNA but it's because he does care about you."

"I don't fully trust him." Rachel whispered.

"I still have wariness as well." Tom admitted, "But he's all we have, and we need to give him a chance."

They looked into each other's eyes, some invisible energy between them made it impossible to tear their gazes away.

Neither was sure who moved first, maybe they both moved as one, but their lips came together.

Both felt the jolt as it went through their bodies, and Rachel put her arms around his neck, pulling him closer against her.

Finally they pulled apart, "The old me would've felt guilty." He admitted.

"And the new you?" Rachel asked.

"Enjoying every moment, life is too short for regret, its obvious this was meant to happen."

"I am enjoying new you, but I hope some of previous you sticks around, that's who I fell for." Rachel grinned.

"I'll see what I can do." Tom winked and they shared another kiss.

***  
One month.

One month of happiness they were given, before the immunes and other forces against the restoration of order struck again.

Rachel had been sent to Tennessee to help administer the cure and how fast the virus was being cured.

It also gave the officers valuable intelligence, how orderly an area was, or any resistance that would give them trouble in the future.

A group attacked an encampment and Rachel was nearly abducted, fortunately the officers fought them all off.

***  
Tom was livid when he heard, "How the hell was this able to happen!?"

Michener tried to calm him down, "Warlords are everywhere, criminals are working in gangs, and we have the immunes. It'll take time to regain order."

Tom had embraced Rachel as soon as she returned, it was also that moment, he had decided his children would be safer staying in Norfolk.

He was already a target, the less people who knew he had a family, the better.

"You sure you want them far away?" Rachel asked.

"Yes, for the time being, once security improves and there's more organization in the city, then I'll consider bringing them."

Tom spent as much time with Rachel as he could, except when he was working and she was in the lab.

But he knew she didn't like feeling smothered or a damsel in distress, so he tried to respect her space as well.

***  
One evening Michener called both of them to come into his office, "The immunes put out a bounty on Doctor Scott."

"What for!?" Tom roared, and Rachel put her hands on his bicep to steady him, she could feel his shaking.

She was freaked herself but trying to stay calm, so far she hadn't experienced PTSD, and knew having Tom around to focus on had helped.

"They think once she's dead all knowledge of the cure will die with her, the bounty is two million dollars."

Rachel sank to a chair as her legs refused to support her, "They'll never stop hunting me."

"That's why we need to strike first, we need to put you in hiding for your protection we need them to think you're dead."

Rachel burst into tears as her emotions burst to the surface, not being able to do the work she loved, worst of all leaving Tom.

Tom held her, stroking her hair, and made comforting sounds. "We'll figure this out."

They wept together until they were spent and then remembered they were in the president's office.

But Michener had apparently gone outside and they found him in the hall.

"I want you to choose a member of your crew, someone you know you can trust one hundred percent."

Determination came to Tom's eyes, "I already have my candidate."

++  
She stayed with Tom that night and the next Tom had Kara and Danny stay with her while he was gone; they had gotten married four days before.

Kara's pregnancy was coming along nicely and she was starting to show.

Tom soon returned and had Tex with him, "Tex will come with you and will definitely protect you."

"You can count on that." Tex assured her.

Rachel knew he would, "When do I leave?" She whispered.

Tom looked as sad and defeated as she did, "Tomorrow night, there's been a lot of chatter through Morse code and the phone towers that are working."

Rachel nodded, not wanting to burst into tears in front of everyone. Kara embraced her, "I hope you don't have to stay away for too long, it's you who I want to deliver our child."

"Ditto for me as well." Danny replied.

Rachel felt overwhelmed by all the love and let the tears fall, of happiness that she was cared for and bitterness at what she was losing.

***  
Rachel went outside with Tex, "Where is Michener sending us?"

"He isn't, even he doesn't know, only the Commodore and I do."

Rachel looked surprised, "Michener can be genuinely believable if it got out that you're actually still alive, and he doesn't know the location."

Tex leaned in and whispered, "He's still shady as far as I'm concerned."

Rachel genuinely grinned for the first time in a while.

"My cousin owns a horse farm that's still in operation; he's a former navy seal and said he'll take us in. Kathleen will be coming with us."

Rachel liked her and it would be nice to have another female around,

"Maybe Bertrice would like to come along; she'll be lonely once Mason is back at sea."

"She'll be welcomed, hopefully it won't be too long and you'll be able to get back soon."

"I hope so." Rachel whispered.

***  
Later that night Rachel and Tom sat together but not really talking.

Finally he spoke, "I'll miss you, I truly will."

"And I'll really miss you just as much." She whispered.

They began to kiss, slow and gentle, then frantic and passionate. Rachel took his hand and led him to his bedroom.

No words were needed.

They quickly undressed and fall onto the bed, hands and lips moving everywhere.

Both gasped out when their bodies were joined, it was as if they had been made for specifically each other.

Tears came, both wanting the moment the last forever, but time in its cruelty was giving them only a few hours.

The only words that would be exchanged in those hours were I love you.

***  
The next evening she packed lightly, but she'd had enough practice in her life, she told him with a sad bitter smile.

He kissed her again before she went out the door and watched Tex load everything into the truck.

Bertrice and Kathleen sat in the small backseat, "I'll watch over all of them."

Tex called out.

"I know." Tom replied.

He locked eyes with Rachel as the truck starting driving away and he kept his gaze on them until the vehicle was out of sight.

Emptiness was already starting to invade him.

***  
The next day Michener broadcast an announcement saying Rachel had been abducted and found shot to death execution style.

The nation felt grief for the person who had cured them and never got the chance to thank and know her.

Days and months started to blend together, slowly St Louis became a secure and bustling capital.

The immunes were slowly losing their power, as the truth about Sorensen came out. A majority didn't approve of the ideals Ramsey had had.

Tom finally decided it was safe to bring his children, and they were excited to join him.

Kelly and Ava also joined him, while dad chose to stay in Norfolk.

On occasion Tex would call on the encrypted laptop Tom had given him, with Val carefully monitoring.

He enjoyed the rare times he could hear Rachel's voice, she enjoyed the horses and the community was short on doctors, so was able to help at the local hospital.

She had altered her hair color to black and wore blue contact lenses. Tom felt relieved she could feel useful.

A few weeks later he went out to look up at the stars, not knowing at that moment she was doing the same.

Not being able to hold her, not knowing where she was, it was torture.

Hopefully soon all of that could end.


End file.
